What an incredible read. Definitely a lot to digest. Grateful to have access to read such work! I enjoyed that part about doing things without asking - dropping off soup to a sick friend. I feel we sometimes wait for others to tell us they need help before we offer it. Can’t wait to start implementing these
I'm so glad to hear this! I had to unlearn a lot of these "convenience" habits last year when a friend got a little sick and realized how much these little things matter when it comes to building deep relationships!
Thanks, Drew! I hope it inspired you a little. I've been implementing some of the things I talk about here and it's really changed a few relationships for the better!
Love this! I’m Harrison, an ex fine dining line cook. My stack "The Secret Ingredient" adapts hit restaurant recipes (mostly NYC and L.A.) for easy home cooking.
Wow. There is so much here to process! Thank you for putting this into words. Will be back again and again to continue unpacking and applying to my own existence.
I really enjoyed reading this! The other day, I wrote in a note that I can't stand the "No one is coming..." mantra. I also never liked "let them." Therapy talk has been taken to an extreme and used whenever someone feels inconvenienced. While the initial sentiment or purpose might have had good intentions, intentions don't matter if the result is disastrous. So many people have their hyper-independence reinforced.
Many people are convinced they don't need anyone. Because of this, people refuse to inconvenience their little bubble, but they call it protecting their peace. Many people have forgotten how to live in a community—that is not how humans were programmed to live.
As a busy parent, I was frazzled and frustrated. From going to an appointment, to working full time and taking care of the parent. Plus all the house work. I essentially have 3 full time jobs.
This piece reminded me it's less about "I" and more about we. I clean to provide a safe space for my child. I work to provide the convenience to choose what life we can live. I am there as a dad and husband so we can enjoy each other fully in every moment.
Because that's where I fit into the community. It's not about a bigger community, but intentionally choosing yours and living in it as present and gracefully as possible. Thanks for the article!
Great post, and much to reflect upon. I often try to think about inconvenience as an opportunity. For example, I don’t have a car, and particularly when my kids were little and I dropped them off for activities, there was no point in going home, so I would while away the time discovering interesting neighbourhoods. It turned into a passion for urban wandering, and a way of connecting with people and places.
Thank you so much for this packed essay! When I heard the “let them” theory I bristled at it, and then heard Rich Rolls podcast with her where he was having trouble with it too - your essay helps clarify my “bristle” 😌
Yeah, I can see how/why it resonates with some people and I believe we need to have options for everyone! It's not something I resonate with either so am offering an alternative perspective :)
Hi! Thank you so much for sharing this. Such a beautiful and helpful piece. Ive been in touch with this topic lately, but things getting hard to navigate since i (almost) always prefer to be alone. So im glad im crossing this when i needed the most :_)
What an incredible read. Definitely a lot to digest. Grateful to have access to read such work! I enjoyed that part about doing things without asking - dropping off soup to a sick friend. I feel we sometimes wait for others to tell us they need help before we offer it. Can’t wait to start implementing these
points in to my life!
With love,
Thebondbetweenus
I'm so glad to hear this! I had to unlearn a lot of these "convenience" habits last year when a friend got a little sick and realized how much these little things matter when it comes to building deep relationships!
This was a really good morning read. Thank you for sharing your words!
Thanks, Drew! I hope it inspired you a little. I've been implementing some of the things I talk about here and it's really changed a few relationships for the better!
Loved all of this!! your next book should be about this! want to re-read because there is so much valuable information here! thanks for sharing 🫶🏼
Ouuuu! what a nice idea! I have been brainstorming topics for a next book, and will add this there!
Beautiful. Thank you so much.
Love this! I’m Harrison, an ex fine dining line cook. My stack "The Secret Ingredient" adapts hit restaurant recipes (mostly NYC and L.A.) for easy home cooking.
check us out:
https://thesecretingredient.substack.com
This was pretty amazing and I needed that. Will definitely try to put some things in practice.
Loved this I felt being called out at some instances and realized the need to change my ways, Thank you!
Co-create repair
Reciprocity Vs Transaction.
I am honestly so so grateful, very tenderly grateful that someone like you exists.
Thank you for such a kind message! ❤️
Beautiful 🌹🌹& needed!
❤️❤️❤️
Wow. There is so much here to process! Thank you for putting this into words. Will be back again and again to continue unpacking and applying to my own existence.
Thanks, Tim! I hope you enjoy the process of unpacking and decluttering the emotional spaces, to make room for deeper relationships! I know I have :)
I really enjoyed reading this! The other day, I wrote in a note that I can't stand the "No one is coming..." mantra. I also never liked "let them." Therapy talk has been taken to an extreme and used whenever someone feels inconvenienced. While the initial sentiment or purpose might have had good intentions, intentions don't matter if the result is disastrous. So many people have their hyper-independence reinforced.
Many people are convinced they don't need anyone. Because of this, people refuse to inconvenience their little bubble, but they call it protecting their peace. Many people have forgotten how to live in a community—that is not how humans were programmed to live.
As a busy parent, I was frazzled and frustrated. From going to an appointment, to working full time and taking care of the parent. Plus all the house work. I essentially have 3 full time jobs.
This piece reminded me it's less about "I" and more about we. I clean to provide a safe space for my child. I work to provide the convenience to choose what life we can live. I am there as a dad and husband so we can enjoy each other fully in every moment.
Because that's where I fit into the community. It's not about a bigger community, but intentionally choosing yours and living in it as present and gracefully as possible. Thanks for the article!
Great post, and much to reflect upon. I often try to think about inconvenience as an opportunity. For example, I don’t have a car, and particularly when my kids were little and I dropped them off for activities, there was no point in going home, so I would while away the time discovering interesting neighbourhoods. It turned into a passion for urban wandering, and a way of connecting with people and places.
Thank you so much for this packed essay! When I heard the “let them” theory I bristled at it, and then heard Rich Rolls podcast with her where he was having trouble with it too - your essay helps clarify my “bristle” 😌
Yeah, I can see how/why it resonates with some people and I believe we need to have options for everyone! It's not something I resonate with either so am offering an alternative perspective :)
Hi! Thank you so much for sharing this. Such a beautiful and helpful piece. Ive been in touch with this topic lately, but things getting hard to navigate since i (almost) always prefer to be alone. So im glad im crossing this when i needed the most :_)
The Universe is magical like that sometimes! I'm glad this found you when you needed it!
Saving this to read again and again. Some very important lessons in here to hold on to.
Thank you for appreciating my work!