Self love doesn’t happen in a vacuum.
We don’t just learn to love ourselves by ourselves. We need others.
Reminder: If you would like to attend this month’s zoom event (Feb 28th, 6pm ET), consider becoming a paid subscriber! We will focus on balancing self-love and healthy boundaries, and do a boundary-audit exercise together. If you join now, you’ll get 25% off your annual membership.
Self-love is deeply intertwined with social, cultural, and interpersonal factors. It is a dynamic process influenced by the way we perceive ourselves in relation to the world around us.
4 reasons self-love happens in community, not in isolation:
Relationships with others play a significant role in the development of self-love. Emotional support and a sense of connection with others are vital for nurturing self-love. We learn and grow through social interactions and experiences. Positive and negative feedback from others, as well as the lessons learned from social relationships, contribute to personal growth and self-awareness. Learning from these experiences is essential for developing self-love. Think: What are some of your cultural norms that shape your idea of self-love?
Self-love is shaped, in part, by societal norms, cultural expectations, and the values instilled by the community you belong to. The way culture defines success, beauty, and personal worth shapes your self-perception. These external influences contribute to the way you perceive yourself and your worth. Sometimes, deviating from traditional paths defined by your community can be challenging and make you question yourself and lower your self-love. Think: Reflect on times when you've deviated from traditional paths defined by your community in pursuit of your goals, values, or personal expression - how did that influence your self-perception and self-love?
Societal standards of beauty and success can influence self-perception. You might internalize these ideals, which impacts your self-esteem and sense of self-love negatively. Challenging unrealistic standards and embracing your uniqueness becomes crucial in developing self-love. Think: Are there any harmful societal standards that impact how you view yourself and how does that show up in your daily habits?
We are wired for connection. Mirror neurons in the brain enable us to empathize and connect with others emotionally. The ability to understand and share the feelings of others contributes to a sense of belonging and shared humanity. This connection with others is fundamental to the development of self-love. Think: Consider instances where you may have struggled with self-love. Did connecting with others and recognizing their humanity play a role in your own journey towards self-acceptance?
Why is self-love in isolation harmful?
While individualism celebrates personal autonomy, self-expression, and the pursuit of individual goals, it can impact how individuals approach the development of self-love. In an individualistic society, there may be an desire to prioritize personal achievements and individual identity, sometimes at the expense of the interconnectedness with others. Isolating yourself in the pursuit of self-love within an individualistic framework can keep you stuck in your limiting beliefs or distorted self-perceptions. In a vacuum, internal narratives and beliefs can become overly critical, leading to an unhealthy self-image.
Limited External Perspectives: In an isolated self-love development process, you may lack exposure to diverse perspectives, experiences, and feedback from others. This limited external perspective can lead to a narrow understanding of yourself and your worth.
Limited Emotional Support: Developing self-love in isolation may mean a lack of emotional support from social connections. Emotional support from others is crucial for navigating challenges, gaining different perspectives, and strengthening resilience.
Difficulty in Setting Boundaries: Developing healthy boundaries, a crucial aspect of self-love, often involves navigating social interactions. Isolation may make it challenging for you to practice setting boundaries and asserting your needs in interpersonal relationships.
Potential for Self-Isolation as a Coping Mechanism: In response to challenges or negative emotions, you might isolate yourself as a coping mechanism. While solitude can be beneficial, prolonged self-isolation may exacerbate feelings of loneliness and hinder the development of self-love.
The importance of shared experiences, empathy, and connection with others, which are crucial for developing self-love, can be downplayed or overlooked in an individualistic mindset. It is essential to strike a balance that recognizes the interconnected nature of human experiences. Acknowledging the role of external influences, social connections, and shared humanity becomes crucial in cultivating a well-rounded and healthy sense of self-love, even within an individualistic framework.
This month’s zoom event (Feb 28th, 6pm ET) will focus on balancing self-love and healthy boundaries. In the session, we will do a boundary-audit exercise together, as well as creating an action plan for your self-love boundaries. We will also have an in-depth discussion on reasons why loving yourself feels hard, with reflections and actions you can take. The event is for paid members only - if you join now, you’ll get 25% off your annual membership.