Why are we so afraid of being mediocre?
If you feel stuck in life right now, read this.
Most of us were taught to believe that happiness only lies in extraordinary and excellent experiences, and anything less just isn't worth our time. This is known as exceptionalism: the fear of being “just average”. This creates an underlying belief that if you’re not achieving something extraordinary, you are somehow failing at life.
Right from the start of our life, we're told to aim for the best: the best grades, the best colleges, the best jobs. This continues onto adulthood, even in smaller, everyday choices like where we grab a cup of coffee or where we go for dinner - we seek the next cool, new place, a spot worthy of posting about.
In a world where you are constantly surrounded by images and messages of excellence—whether it’s landing the dream job, living in the perfect home, or discovering the most unique coffee shop around the corner—it’s easy to fall into the trap of always chasing after the next "big thing."
But what if we challenged that idea? What if accepting so-called "mediocre" experiences is truly the key to a more grounded and fulfilling life?
Striving for excellence is a commendable goal, but it's not always necessary or practical in every aspect of life. Chasing exceptional experiences, places, things and moments keeps you stuck in an imagined future and disconnected from the present. This is how you can remain stuck - stuck feeling like you and your life aren’t good enough; stuck feeling like you’re not moving and everyone else is; stuck feeling empty. That’s because nothing you do ever feels good enough.
I think it’s okay to be mediocre in some aspects of your life (hear me out).
In reality, the bulk of our existence consists of what you could call "mediocre" or "average" experiences—things like sitting at home on a quiet Sunday morning, having a casual conversation with a friend, or eating a home-cooked meal that’s not Instagram-worthy, but satisfies your soul. These moments, though seemingly small, are what truly sustain us.
In my journey to embrace mediocre moments, I learned these 5 things:
1. Always chasing excellence takes time and resources, this made me inefficient. Knowing when to allocate myself at a Level 10 and when to dial it down helped my preserve my own energy and peace (and boundaries).
2. Maintaining a balanced life often means accepting mediocrity in some areas to prioritize other areas, such as quality time with family instead of seeing a lot of people, real good health instead of the new wellness trend, or happy and joyful moments instead of chasing insta-worthy shots.
3. I have limitations and cannot excel at everything. It's important to recognize and accept these limitations to avoid unnecessary stress or disappointment. Regulating my emotions helped me with this.
4. Embracing mediocrity has allowed me to explore new interests or hobbies without the pressure of perfection, increasing personal growth.
5. Not all situations demand excellence. I don’t need to give away all my energy to everything and everyone all the time. Prioritize everything!
The key is to discern where excellence is truly needed and where to be content with mediocre moments based on *your* goals, values, and intentions.
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Embrace the smaller, softer life.
The idea of slowing down and finding contentment in the everyday feels almost radical.
When you embrace the smaller life, you reject the notion that happiness is something to be chased in the future, tied to achievements, accolades, or monumental events. Instead, you start to find it right here in the present. The simple acts of caring for yourself, your home, or spending time with loved ones are powerful ways to connect with a deeper sense. In these moments, you aren't striving; you’re just being.
The soft life is also about redefining success. Instead of equating success with external measures like promotions, high-profile accomplishments, or the perfect life as portrayed online, we begin to see success as being aligned with our own values. Maybe success looks like spending more time with family, nurturing your mental health, or just slowing down enough to truly appreciate the present. It’s about choosing what feels good and right for you, rather than what looks impressive to others or feels ‘worth it’ to you.
Shift your focus from monumental achievements to everyday victories.
What you can do to focus on process, not outcome.
Reframe your expectations. It’s not about lowering your standards, but about expanding your appreciation for all the experiences that make life rich. Not every coffee shop needs to be the trendiest in town; not every dinner needs to be at a five-star restaurant. Sometimes, it’s the familiar, the comfortable, the "average" that brings the greatest sense of peace and contentment
Appreciate the small things. Whether it’s completing a household chore, finishing a book, or cooking a meal, acknowledge and celebrate these small daily wins. This practice helps you appreciate the ordinary and reduces the pressure to constantly strive for excellence.
Dedicate a creative project to capturing the essence of mediocrity. Take photos of mundane scenes, write poems about everyday life, or create drawings of ordinary objects. This project can help you see the charm in the commonplace and appreciate the simplicity of everyday experiences. Do things for the sake of doing them.
Instead of setting high-pressure, ambitious goals, set smaller, more attainable goals. For instance, aim to walk for 10 minutes each day instead of training for a marathon. These goals are easier to achieve and help you enjoy the process rather than stressing about the outcome.
Why are we so afraid of the ordinary?
I’m writing about this because I struggle with this, too. This is a reminder not only for you, but for me, to appreciate the life I have, and not only be striving for the life I want. This is not to say that you shouldn’t be ambitious or want more for yourself. It’s about finding a balance between being and doing.
Here’s the truth: happiness doesn't always come from grand events. Sometimes, it’s found in the everyday routines, the ordinary things that don’t stand out but bring you comfort and stability. These "average" moments are the ones that make up most of your life, and they’re more than worthy of your appreciation. In these moments, there is no pressure to perform, to share, or to chase after something better. There is just the moment itself—and that can be more than enough.
In accepting mediocrity, you give yourself permission to be fully present for the life that is happening right now—life in its most authentic, unscripted form. You start to see the beauty and significance in simple, daily experiences, leading to a more content and fulfilled life.
And it’s in this space that you might just find the happiness and you’ve been seeking all along.
xx
Israa